What It's like to Have a Spouse as a Co-worker

I've lived in Spain before, and the biggest difference between these two experiences is that this time, my husband is here with me. There are both advantages and disadvantages to his being here with me, but the most prominent phenomenon to adjust to is working together. My spouse is also my co-worker, which is something I have never experienced.

In the US, we worked different jobs and had the joy of reuniting at dinner to discuss our different days. Now, we walk to and from work together most days, and over lunch, all we can do is tell each other our similar days from different perspectives. 

The first instance where spouse and co-worker collided was when Micah was making a video for our center and asked for my opinion. My first thought of his video was that the branding of the center that I had been working on was not well represented in the video. I attempted to explain this to Micah as a co-worker, but Micah as a spouse took it personally and got upset. 

In the US, we'd probably both come to the dinner table that night, and Micah would frustratingly explain how his co-worker undermined his work, and I'd complain about how a co-worker got upset with me when I simply suggested a change. 

In Spain, we instead had to work out our difference and reconcile. 

Before we even arrived, I was already predicting these kinds of conflicts and getting worried about the amount of time we'd inevitably be spending together here. In general, I think couples do need sufficient time apart, and we have been lacking this. But I've been pleasantly surprised at how well it's gone.

Our team has been working on a huge project, and Micah and I were both overwhelmed with all the work we had to do. I was especially feeling stressed and decided to leave the center early one day to work at home alone. Then I got a text from him saying we were in it together and he would help me in any way I needed.

Working with your spouse means getting a text message saying he would do anything to take some of the work stress away. Working with your spouse means getting a simple touch on the leg the moment I get a tiny bit stressed in work meetings. Working with your spouse means randomly receiving a cup of warm tea and a snack in the middle of a workday. Working with your spouse means that there is always a co-worker who is 100% for you, on your side, and protective of your feelings, workload, and mental health. 

In our extra time together, Micah has gone above and beyond to prioritize my comfort and my happiness, and we've been walking through this culture shock and adjustment together. Without asking, he gets me food, games, and candy that will make me feel at home. The other day, I was feeling randomly sad when without me saying a word, Micah put on a song that I love and he hates. It was such a little thing that made the world of a difference, and I literally had watering eyes. 

These are all the advantages of having my best friend and love of my life as a co-worker. The disadvantages are part of the same coin. Having Micah here with me is almost too comfortable, almost too great. I'm not missing home as much as I did when I was here alone because home is with me. There's less of a desperation for Jesus because I'm not alone in a foreign country this time. There is less of a desire for me to get out in the community when I could stay home with Micah and watch Netflix. It's more of a challenge for me to embrace the difficulty of a year serving the Lord when my husband is taking so much of the difficulty off of me. 

Somehow, we both have to discover how to keep being desperate for Jesus above all else and embracing the difficulty of culture shock if it means getting closer to Him.