The conclusion of an incredible semester

My heart hurts.

Facts: I have lived in a foreign country for the last 3 and a half months. I have built friendships with individuals from all over America. I have shared meals with a Spanish couple almost every single day for the semester. I had to leave all of that yesterday.

The result?

My heart hurts.

I was uneasy when I finally reached Chicago after a 10-hour flight yesterday. After hearing the soothing Spanish language being spoken around me for months, hearing so much English literally made me feel on edge. Spanish is beautiful and so easy to tune out, but English is blaring, and petty conversations spoken by strangers were inevitable to overhear. I found myself getting upset at the high water level in the toilet and everything else American I noticed. I was in a state of discomfort in that airport, and I think it all stemmed from the goodbyes that so quickly became a reality. I was alone in America, away from the country and people that were my life for so long. My heart was panging with pain.

Since Chicago, I have arrived to my house and began the transition to the changes in time, weather, surroundings, and language. I’ve adjusted pretty well so far, (but dang it’s cold) and I’m overall pretty positive and hopeful about these next three weeks and my next semester.

In the midst of all of this, I have been considering what “home” really means to me, and thinking back to when I felt God speak to me this semester. Over these past couple months, I have comfortably built my haven in a small apartment in Sevilla, a hostel with 7 strangers, an apartment with strangers, a plane ride, a room in sketchy Naples, and in hotels. I slept in all these places. I dwelled in these places for a time. I found peace, comfort, happiness, and security in all of these places: so much so, that it’s this painful to leave those experiences. Now, I’m back at my parents’ house, but I’m not even staying here for long before I move back to college.

I shared a lot of sappiness in my last blog, and I am very much feeling lots of gratefulness and amazement for the semester that just ended. I’m reflecting on what the Lord has taught and shown me, and with that, I just want to pose a question:

I’ve arrived at my house, but am I home?