tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8742416251348635582024-03-13T04:17:22.939-07:00con todo mi serHannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-10724644521527833192021-07-10T10:16:00.006-07:002021-07-10T13:58:48.771-07:00Reverse Culture Shock<p>In our modern age, it is absolutely bizarre how quickly you can get from one side of the world to the other. After a relatively short flight, you're in a completely different culture with not much time to transition, process, or prepare. So when Micah and I landed in the USA, there were some immediate reverse culture shocks that we experienced. The following are a few small and big differences we've noticed: </p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Saying hi to people. Europeans don't say hi to strangers on the street. Americans do. This was a surprise!</li><li>Talking to each other on the street. In Spain, Micah and I could talk pretty openly on the street. We'd say things to each other that we normally wouldn't say in America like "that girl's shoes are super cute" or "is this woman doing okay? She looks lost" or other more personal things. In Spain, we knew people don't usually have a high enough level of English to understand us speaking rapidly to each other. Here in Minnesota, I've already caught myself many times saying things I probably shouldn't say when the whole world can understand me. </li><li>Toilets. The water level is insanely high in the US. Also, every time I flush here, I reach for the top of the toilet because that's where the flusher is in Spain.</li><li>The insane variety of food!! I thought I'd be overwhelmed, stressed, and crying during my first grocery store visit in America. Although I was thoroughly overwhelmed, it was a delighted overwhelmed feeling. I wanted to buy everything! </li><li>Taxes and money. I've been shocked when prices are way higher than the price tag says. I totally forgot about taxes!! Seeing green bills is also baffling to me. </li><li>Food. I love American food. The end.</li><li>Communicating to strangers in English. I haven't interacted with a stranger in English in 9 months. I forgot how to do it. </li><li>Saying gracias, perdon, ni idea, no pasa nada, and qué guay all the time. These expressions come to my mind and my mouth before their English equivalents. </li><li>The climate. My skin was dry and scaly in Spain due to the dry heat. Here, it's smooth and soft. Thank you Minnesota humidity!</li><li>Masks. No one wears masks in the US anymore! Coming from Spain where we put on a mask the second we left our apartment, we were shocked by this. </li></ul><div>These are things we've personally noticed so far; I'm sure there will be more. Stay tuned!! </div><p></p><p><br /></p>Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-39087941522430659752021-06-14T03:41:00.001-07:002021-07-10T13:37:32.107-07:00Goodbye Granada<p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Granada has blessed us these past 9 months. Even at its worst, with earthquakes, coronavirus, and extreme cold and heat, Granada has been a beautiful home to us. With fewer than 3 weeks left, Micah and I are starting to say goodbye, and savoring the beauty of this city while doing so. We are saying goodbye to the following:</p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>The heavenly temperature difference of moving from sun to shade</li><li>Ordering a drink and getting a free tapa (or a sufficient meal)</li><li>Kicking around oranges that lie on the street</li><li>Eating cookies for breakfast</li><li>Being able to get toast in the middle of the morning workday</li><li>Getting lost in the twists of the Albaícin</li><li>Different colored buildings announcing their presence on the streets</li><li>Finding ourselves in the relaxed, patient pace of the Granadinas</li><li>Walking at dusk and catching the marvelous view of purple mountains when you don't expect it</li><li>Three hours in the middle of the day that are completely ours</li><li>Palm trees, pine trees, and color-changing trees all united together</li><li>Accessibility of mountain, beach, and lake</li><li>All the chewy candies you could ever want</li><li>Seeing random, awe-inspiring glimpses of the Alhambra in different places in the city </li><li>The absence of snow (besides in the mountains)</li></ul><div>Granada, you are beautiful, and we love you. Goodbye soon. </div><div><br /></div><div>PS Bonus points if you can correctly guess which bullet points Micah wrote and which ones I wrote. </div><p></p><p><br /></p>Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-55295021304215399432021-05-13T02:02:00.003-07:002021-05-13T02:02:45.024-07:00I don't want to leave, but I want to go home.<p> I want to go home. 9 months is the longest I've been away from home, and frankly, I want to be frolicking in a green, humid Minnesotan summer with my friends and family. I want to eat mac & cheese, hot dogs, potato salad, baked beans, hashbrowns, corndogs, cheese curds, peanut butter, ranch, and BBQ.... but not all at once of course. </p><p>I want to be able to get into a car and drive. I want to eat lunch at noon and dinner at 6. I want to be around other Americans. I really do want to go home. </p><p>But I really don't want to leave. I want to continue seeing snowy mountains every day. I want croquetas, jamón, churros, and tostada con tomate to be easily accessible and always available. I want to get free tapas whenever I want.<i> </i></p><p>I want to see color. I want to see palm trees. I don't want to be thousands of miles away and 3 time zones apart from my friends in this country. I do not want to leave. </p><p>Thus the problem. </p><p>Right now, our departure looms over me, but I'm definitely not home in Minnesota either. This is the conflict I wake up to every day. When I think of ascending over Minnesota and seeing the miles of lakes from the sky, I smile to myself. When I think of emptying our drawers of our clothes in our Spanish apartment, my heart breaks a little. If only I could live on both sides of the world simultaneously. </p><p>Leaving Spain will not be like simply leaving a job; I won't be able to see my friends anymore, and the Granada mountains will disappear permanently from my life. Thankfully, many of my friends are leaving Granada around the same time Micah and I are leaving. Most of my friends are from different cities around Spain or Europe, so they will also be returning home in June when the school year ends. But if I stayed in Granada, they would at least be within reach. Minnesota is nowhere near Europe. </p><p>On the other hand, many of my friends in Minnesota will <i>not </i>be there when I return either. Many things have changed in 9 months, and Micah and I will be walking into a completely different life at home where people have literally moved or moved on from the life they were living when I was there. </p><p>So here we stand with a month and a half left in Granada, Spain. I love this beautiful city, and the closer we get to leaving it, the more precious each day becomes. In reality, we have an opportunity to truly, deeply appreciate the next few months of our life on both sides of the world. This next month and a half, we can appreciate everything Spanish and the next month and a half after that, we can celebrate and savor everything American. We can open our eyes wider to see the beauty around us that we usually take for granted in both worlds and in both cultures. </p><p>And that new feat of genuinely enjoying the present can start today. </p>Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-84472579867355076802021-03-17T12:26:00.009-07:002021-04-10T09:41:43.642-07:00The Only American in the Room<p>Outside of our small church planting team, I have only seen one other American in my time here. She was a New Yorker that I ran into on the street, and I think I scared her away with how excited I was to meet her. </p><p>Because of the European travel ban for Americans, it sincerely feels like we're the only Americans in this country and even continent. This is usually the ideal situation I dream about when I'm in the states. I love being the only American in the room because it's that richer of an opportunity to learn about other cultures. I love hanging out with international students, trying new foods, and listening to music in other languages. It's literally my hobby. </p><p>But I have to admit that I now crave the presence and companionship of people from my home country. I never understood this before coming here. I was always a proponent of diversity and having all people groups, nationalities, and ethnicities together in the same place. While I most definitely still am for this, I now understand the other side: being surrounding by people that are from your home country. It's a comfort. It's a matter of being understood on a level that others can't. Most of my friends in this country haven't even set foot in the US, so when I meet someone who has even traveled to the states, that's even exciting to me. They understand my context. They know where I'm coming from, and therefore, they know me a little better. </p><p>I've recently started my new Spanish class, and just like my last class, I'm the only American in the room. I have to represent my whole massive nation and carry it on my shoulders whenever America comes up in class. Whenever Donald Trump or anything even related to North <i>and </i>South America is mentioned in class, everyone looks to me. It's a lot of pressure, and I've started to like this privilege less and less as time goes on.</p><p>On the first day of class, I was hopeful when I saw a girl that looked and sounded American (when she spoke Spanish at least). I found myself analyzing everything this girl did, so excited at having a possible American companion in my class. When she introduced herself, I was disappointed to find out she was British. This discovery was disappointing but not totally disheartening, and I found myself still wanting to talk to her more than anyone else in the class. Even the simple existence of our countries' connected history and language was enough of a common denominator for me to want to connect. </p><p>This week, I intentionally dwindled after class with the goal of talking to her and another Irish girl. We ended up walking out together, and it wasn't long before this English friend exclaimed "I have been thinking 'I've got to talk to Hannah because she's an English speaker!'" in her heavy English accent.</p><p>I was ecstatic. We both felt the same way.</p><p>This simple reminder of "home" was a beautiful, beautiful thing to me. We literally have nothing in common except our heart languages, and honestly, that was enough for me. </p><p>I've discovered in this year away from home that I do crave to be around people like me. And that's okay.</p><p>However, right now in the Protestant church in Spain, the opposite is happening: there are not enough Spaniards for them even to connect with each other. There are plenty of Americans, Latinos, and other internationals, but there are so few Spanish Protestants in Spanish churches that they literally can't even have that person to relate to <i>within their own country. </i></p><p>And that's not okay. </p><p><br /></p>Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-50932455467986334282021-02-25T03:32:00.005-08:002021-03-17T05:55:56.468-07:00A Friend of a Friend of a Friend<p> The work isn't easy here in Spain. It's not a country where you can successfully do street evangelism. The Spanish are surrounded by wealth, convenience, and luxury brands, so it's not natural for them to acknowledge that they need help or that they're not in control of their own lives. The pandemic, earthquakes, and the general unpredictability of this year have caused people to feel more vulnerable, but the process is still very slow. </p><p>I'm meeting regularly with around 12 women, 2 women almost every week, the other 10 at least once a month. Friendships have grown, and they're real. We have spiritual conversations here and there, and I ask good questions, but no one has accepted my invitation to church or given their lives to Christ. These beautiful, strong women act very self sufficient, and their need for Jesus just isn't clear. Of course, I've heard about the problems in their lives, from classes to men to family, but these women already have so much wisdom, and they're just not thinking daily about their need for Jesus.</p><p>Some of the difficulties of ministry here are very similar to the context of the US, but there are many striking differences that make the situation here so much more urgent. The US is inundated with Protestant churches; the average <i>suburb </i>in Minnesota has more churches than this whole province of Granada. American Christians often spend their 20s church hopping, and I don't think we realize how much of a privilege and luxury that really is. </p><p>Here, the evangelical church basically doesn't exist. When it does exist, the church community is shockingly small. While around 25% of Americans call themselves evangelical Christians, only 2% of Spanish do, and half of this percentage are Latinos from Central and South America who are living in Spain. Only 1% of Spaniards say they have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. </p><p>Pretty much every single American has a friend of a friend that is a Christian. <b>Here, no one even has a friend of a friend of a friend that's a Protestant Christian</b>. The situation is urgent. </p><p>And that's exactly what keeps me hopeful and inspired in this difficult, often fruitless work. Now there are 12 Spanish women in Granada who directly have a Christian friend, and dozens more from their web of friendships that now have a Christian friend of a friend of a friend. </p><p>And if that's the only thing that comes out of our 10 months here, that's still a cause for celebration. </p>Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-12222911067904037652021-01-28T10:52:00.003-08:002021-02-10T10:30:28.399-08:00Earthquakes<p>Before coming to Granada 4 months ago, I had never experienced an earthquake. I've felt at least 5 now, and 3 were in the span of 10 minutes two nights ago. </p><p>When earthquake #1 of 3 hit, my heart instinctively began to pound, but then I self soothed myself and relaxed. Then the 2nd one came, just as big. When the 3rd one shook our apartment more violently than the other two, I was under our kitchen table, trembling from head to two. </p><p>It was unsettling and slightly terrifying. I was embarrassed at my own fear, and how I was literally and figuratively shaken so intensely by earthquakes that are identified as "light" or "small" on the earthquake scale. </p><p>These earthquakes woke me up. As much as I believe that I have a faith that is "unshakeable," it clearly is a bit shakeable. As much as I silently imagine the peace I would have in emergency situations, that peace was not manifesting itself well. Where was my faith in the moments where the ground I was standing on was literally trembling? </p><p>The encouraging news is that I wasn't alone in my fear. When I reached out to my intercambios the next day, every one of them admitted to being scared or freaked out by the earthquakes. My teammates in ministry also shared about our fears that the earthquakes exposed. It was an opportunity to come together in our humanity but also an opportunity to challenge each other to keep that belief and trust ever before our eyes. </p><p>My Spanish friends also informed me that they had never experienced anything like the earthquakes before in their lifetimes. It was truly a historical event that Micah and I happened to pop in on.</p><p>Honestly, Micah and I popped into this country at a very weird time of historical earthquakes but also the obvious historical pandemic. We are not experiencing a normal season in Spain. On the contrary, it's probably one of the more difficult times this country has faced. While Micah and I have lamented that we haven't witnessed our cultural center thriving like it normally does or the night life of locals out late for tapas and drinks like they normally are, we're thankful we're here. In a sense, we're seeing the worst of Spain, and in reality, what better time to be immersed among the Spanish people? </p><p>People are at their lowest lows, thousands are sick, and almost everyone is afraid. This is the time that God brought us here to enter into their suffering and say "we are here to suffer with you. We are here to experience these terrifying earthquakes, follow curfew, not leave the city limits, and do whatever we need to do with you in this crazy time." </p><p>Fear is better when it's experienced in community. Grief is better when it's experienced in community. Sickness is better when experienced in community. </p><p>We have a beautiful opportunity to be in Spain right now, to comfort the lonely, encourage the hopeless, share the good news with the seekers, and simply be with this community. And the unshakeable God is the one who brought us here. *written as the earth beneath me ONCE AGAIN begins to shake*</p>Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-29508522992369574292021-01-08T02:45:00.000-08:002021-01-08T02:45:38.313-08:00What It's like to Have a Spouse as a Co-worker<p>I've lived in Spain before, and the biggest difference between these two experiences is that this time, my husband is here with me. There are both advantages and disadvantages to his being here with me, but the most prominent phenomenon to adjust to is working together. My spouse is also my co-worker, which is something I have never experienced.</p><p>In the US, we worked different jobs and had the joy of reuniting at dinner to discuss our different days. Now, we walk to and from work together most days, and over lunch, all we can do is tell each other our similar days from different perspectives. </p><p>The first instance where spouse and co-worker collided was when Micah was making a video for our center and asked for my opinion. My first thought of his video was that the branding of the center that I had been working on was not well represented in the video. I attempted to explain this to Micah as a co-worker, but Micah as a spouse took it personally and got upset. </p><p>In the US, we'd probably both come to the dinner table that night, and Micah would frustratingly explain how his co-worker undermined his work, and I'd complain about how a co-worker got upset with me when I simply suggested a change. </p><p>In Spain, we instead had to work out our difference and reconcile. </p><p>Before we even arrived, I was already predicting these kinds of conflicts and getting worried about the amount of time we'd inevitably be spending together here. In general, I think couples do need sufficient time apart, and we have been lacking this. But I've been pleasantly surprised at how well it's gone.</p><p>Our team has been working on a huge project, and Micah and I were both overwhelmed with all the work we had to do. I was especially feeling stressed and decided to leave the center early one day to work at home alone. Then I got a text from him saying we were in it together and he would help me in any way I needed.</p><p>Working with your spouse means getting a text message saying he would do anything to take some of the work stress away. Working with your spouse means getting a simple touch on the leg the moment I get a tiny bit stressed in work meetings. Working with your spouse means randomly receiving a cup of warm tea and a snack in the middle of a workday. Working with your spouse means that there is always a co-worker who is 100% for you, on your side, and protective of your feelings, workload, and mental health. </p><p>In our extra time together, Micah has gone above and beyond to prioritize my comfort and my happiness, and we've been walking through this culture shock and adjustment together. Without asking, he gets me food, games, and candy that will make me feel at home. The other day, I was feeling randomly sad when without me saying a word, Micah put on a song that I love and he hates. It was such a little thing that made the world of a difference, and I literally had watering eyes. </p><p>These are all the advantages of having my best friend and love of my life as a co-worker. The disadvantages are part of the same coin. Having Micah here with me is almost too comfortable, almost too great. I'm not missing home as much as I did when I was here alone because <i>home is with me. </i>There's less of a desperation for Jesus because I'm not alone in a foreign country this time. There is less of a desire for me to get out in the community when I could stay home with Micah and watch Netflix. It's more of a challenge for me to embrace the difficulty of a year serving the Lord when my husband is taking so much of the difficulty off of me. </p><p>Somehow, we both have to discover how to keep being desperate for Jesus above all else and <i>embracing</i> the difficulty of culture shock if it means getting closer to Him. </p>Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-58485675725847417662020-12-05T14:50:00.001-08:002021-01-07T03:38:17.616-08:00A Moroccan, a Vietnamese, and a Granadina After 2 weeks of restaurants, cafés, stores, and bars being closed due to high covid cases, they opened this week. I did meet with some intercambios during the enhanced quarantine, but many people were hesitant because of the very palpable presence of covid, the cold, rainy weather, and the lack of things to do together. So I had 7 people scheduled to meet with me this weekend, the first weekend of life opening up. <div><br /></div><div>Today I met with 3 of the 7. This morning (it was actually at noon, which is considered morning here in Spain) I went to a coffee shop with two other foreigners, one from Morocco, the equivalent distance of Iowa from Minnesota, and one from Vietnam, the complete other side of the world. These two girls are cultural, funny, friendly, and much like myself, so we vibe well. We mostly spoke Spanish, and since Spanish wasn't the first language for any of us, my Spanish rolled off my tongue easily and confidently. We all have a shared love for Korean dramas, bubble tea, Spain, and languages, so we easily passed two hours talking and bonding. Overall it was a great interaction, and I walked away feeling satisfied in my language and relational abilities.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the early afternoon (4:30 PM), I got churros with an intercambio from Granada. This one started out, from my eyes, a little rough. For whatever reason, the 2.5-hour gap between my intercambios, caused my Spanish to take a drastic tumble. As a Granadina, my intercambio has a strong accent, and this automatically made me intimidated, causing my words and sentences to come out unsure and choppy. She's also a very straightforward Spanish college student, and although I appreciate Spanish culture deeply and feel very Spanish myself, the truth is I have such a mixed culture and don't usually relate as well with one-cultured, non-traveled people. </div><div><br /></div><div>We talked about a plethora of things, but even when we switched to English, my confidence was still low. I felt like I was failing, like I wasn't asking her good enough questions, wasn't relating well enough to her, or wasn't growing a friendship. </div><div><br /></div><div>I've been learning it takes a lot of humility to learn a language and build relationships cross-culturally, but that doesn't help those moments when I feel unsatisfied and unproductive. The goal of making friends seems so simple, but I still feel like it's too hard.</div><div><br /></div><div>Then something changed in my thought process. After we went our separate ways, my Granadina intercambio randomly messaged me about the book she mentioned to me and said I could borrow it if I wanted. I then sent her a picture of our Christmas tree that I told her about, and we briefly chatted over text message. </div><div><br /></div><div>Tonight I realized something simple but profound. It's hard to "fail" at friendship. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-37165223900082951872020-11-12T11:13:00.000-08:002020-11-12T11:13:32.690-08:00Comunidad<p> The city of Granada is sinking further into covid restrictions. These Spaniards have already experienced the worst of 2020; their restrictions were stricter than most of the world with a 9-week confinement where they could only leave their house for groceries. Micah and I were in Minnesota for that part of the quarantine, and truthfully, we were minorly affected. We went to work, got our bubble tea, shopped, and took walks like normal while our now home of Granada was literally trapped. </p><p>But we're here for these restrictions, in the midst of their community, following the protocol. We are with them.</p><p>All restaurants, cafes, malls, and most stores are closed in this city, and basically, only the essentials are open. The day before this rule was put into effect, I went alone to a clothing store to purchase a few things while I could. The store was absolutely packed, and while I was waiting in the long line, I marveled at how united we all were. It was a communal problem we all faced, and we were all adequately preparing together. We were united in our preparation. </p><p>And I, the new foreigner to the city, am with them in that. The guiri that was freely frolicking Minnesota March while they were stuck is now united with them in the new era of covid. </p><p>And that's a beautiful thing.</p><p>Because of that, I have no complaints, no sadness, no frustration. I am with the comunidad de Granada, walking through these restrictions with thousands of strangers. It makes me feel part of them, even though by language, culture, and heritage, I'm definitely not. But this pandemic is an opportunity for all of us to feel united despite our class, race, nationality, or language. </p><p>Because we all have something in common now, and in hindsight, we always have. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-86545171980175081442020-10-25T06:33:00.000-07:002020-10-25T06:33:23.008-07:00Quarantine<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div>This week, I received news that a girl in my small Spanish class tested positive for covid. The repercussions weren't immediately clear, but on Thursday, I was told that I officially had to quarantine for 10 days. Thankfully, this quarantine shrank to only 4 days since it had been so long ago since I had contact with her, and we're in the middle of our quarantine now.<p></p><p>When I told Micah the news, he immediately decided to join me in the quarantine even though it wasn't clear if he was supposed to or not. As we sat calmly discussing our fate for the next week, I asked him in disbelief, "Why aren't you freaking out about this? Why are you so calm?"</p><p>The truth was that both of us were calm. As I was walking home after receiving the news, I calmly looked up at the trees and sky, knowing it could be the last time I saw them for 10 days, and I was surprisingly unfazed by that. As I said, the quarantine turned out to be shorter than we expected, but since we went to work, took plenty of walks, and went for grocery runs during the March quarantine in St. Paul, a strict quarantine was still a large, uncharted feat for us. </p><p>It turned out to be just what we needed. For 3 weeks before this moment, both of us were trying to find home in Granada, scoping out bubble tea places, sushi restaurants, candy shops, and thrift stores to stretch out our roots a bit. We were searching for the home that's been with us all along, and all we needed to do to find it was take a step back, take a deep breath, and rest.</p><p>This is our home because this is where we're supposed to be. In the last few weeks, we've formed relationships, talked spiritual matters with intercambios, learned/improved Spanish, and stepped into our positions here. The news of quarantine didn't bother us because it was never a threat in the first place. Nothing can be a threat to us when we're in the will of God.</p><p>I have personally felt an indescribable feeling being here, as if nothing can stop us and nothing can hinder us. We're on a path that was destined by God, and therefore, any challenge that looms over us holds no more fear for me. Any potential inconvenience or discomfort doesn't bother me. We haven't even secured an available appointment to finish our visa process, this city could very well sink deeper into lockdown, and we could have other exposures to positives that would slow us down. None of these things concern me at all.</p><p>And I can't really give an answer to why I'm not concerned, afraid, or worried. Something, or someone, is just telling me that there's no reason to be. We are walking forward unhindered and untouched by the enemy. </p><p>We've never had a rational reason to worry, and we are very much home. </p>Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-4104371404123857882020-10-07T11:55:00.008-07:002020-10-10T09:26:59.678-07:00Intimidated<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">My reaction to arriving in Spain is different than it was 5 years ago when I arrived in Sevilla. Last time, I was enamored by the beauty of Spain and full of excitement, hope, and passion. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This time, I'm intimidated and pretty much <i>only </i>intimidated.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Since my semester in Spain, I've grown and matured in so many ways. I graduated from college, I got married, and I had my first big-girl job. I've done ministry. I've shared the gospel. I've made numerous close friends from around the world. I am in every way an older and wiser human being than I was at 21.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">But I'm still so intimidated. Micah and I both are intimidated, but he, the one who has never been to Spain and doesn't speak any Spanish, has an understandable reason to be.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">My intimidation comes from a few factors. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span> 1. Spaniards are much cooler than I am. In many ways, I feel like they are the popular crowd in middle school that I'm not qualified to talk to. I don't think they have any desire to befriend this quiet, weird American, and I'm not convinced I have any alluring quality to draw them into friendship. </span><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span><span> 2. My Spanish-speaking abilities are not up to par. I have been watching a Spanish drama that has increased my comprehension skills, but although I can understand most of what people are saying, I'm too terrified to open my mouth. </span><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span><span><span> 3. The spiritual climate is complicated. Having an open, authentic relationship with a Spaniard doesn't seem easy. I don't feel confident that I can contribute to our team when I don't know what I'm doing.</span><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span><span><span><span> 4. I don't know how to live life here. Paying rent, buying groceries, paying for our phone bills, getting wifi, doing laundry, taking out the trash, and maneuvering the city are all overwhelming necessities that are beyond me. It's an overwhelming list of things we need to figure out.</span><br /></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span><span><span><span>All of these factors are what cause my intimidation. But while I was explaining this exact feeling to Micah in the Madrid airport, before we even arrived in Granada, a woman approached us and asked us a question in Spanish. She wanted to know where her gate was, and I was able to quickly direct her. </span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span><span><span><span>Then on our first night in Granada, Micah and I were having drinks and tapas with the head of our team. Our waitress was friendly and curious about us, which isn't exactly the norm for waiters and waitresses in Spain. </span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span><span><span><span>These two events gave me hope, but definitely not hope in myself. I'm still undoubtedly uncool, inept at speaking Spanish, and clueless. But life gets better when I realize it's not about me.</span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span><span><span><span><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span><span><span><span>God will direct the opportunities, social situations, logistics, and hearts of Spaniards. I just have to follow and have hope in what He is going to do, through me and without me. </span></span></span></span></div><p></p>Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-60686122820635797772020-09-19T13:27:00.001-07:002020-09-19T13:27:45.996-07:00Hiccups<p>Almost a year ago, I had a case of the hiccups. Bad hiccups. The ones that are so strong that they hurt. After 30 minutes straight of violent, painful hiccups every 20 seconds that would not respond to any creative cure, I was pretty annoyed. In an angry yell, I cried to God, "Jesus, take them away!!"</p><p>They vanished instantly. </p><p>I was immediately humbled at how aggressive hiccups disappeared without a trace after a prayer. Micah was in the other room, and we got into a discussion about how it's probably not good to yell at God, even if He does answer. So I apologized to God, thanked Him, and moved on.</p><p>I don't get hiccups very often, but a few weeks later, they returned. This time, I used a different approach. I closed my eyes, and in my head, I quietly (and politely) asked God to take my hiccups away.</p><p>They vanished instantly.</p><p>This soon became my habit. Every time I got hiccups, I prayed, and they disappeared immediately. After I had done this a few times, I had quietly decided that I was praying too much over trivial things, and I should save my prayers over more important matters. So one night before going to bed, I was hiccuping for almost an hour straight, and this time, Micah was getting annoyed.</p><p>"I'm not going to be able to fall asleep with you like that," Micah quietly said.</p><p>"You think I can help it?!" I demanded to him in angry disbelief.</p><p>"Pray," he simply reminded me.</p><p>I sighed, realizing I hadn't prayed yet. "I just don't want to do that too much... or it's gonna stop working, you now?"</p><p>But after Micah mentioned this, I took a pause, prayed silently in my head, and sure enough, the hour-long hiccups just happened to find their conclusion immediately afterward.</p><p>Then came our prayer request that went beyond the trivial. We needed our visas to go to Spain, and they were officially late. I prayed fervently, my family prayed fervently, friends prayed fervently. No visa. What was once a miracle, the fact that the consulate made an exception and we were able to mail in our applications, was now the opposite of a miracle. Getting our visas early would have been a continuation of miracles. Getting them on time would be expected. But now they were late. What was God doing? </p><p>Last week in the midst of mentally processing the sad truth of our late visas, I got the hiccups again. Micah and I were going to get ice cream, and he and my family witnessed the loud, obnoxious hiccups as we were leaving. So as we walked out the door, I prayed out loud that the hiccups would go away. </p><p>They were gone instantly.</p><p>This is when I started to ponder. God still answers a silly, trivial prayer that I have. And He answers it immediately. But yet a serious, life-altering prayer received nothing but silence. What is God trying to tell me?</p><p>Maybe He's reminding me how near He is. Maybe He's affirming that He always hears and always has the ability to respond. </p><p>Maybe the repetition of hiccups disappearing has made me more confident in my hiccup prayers, but I don't carry that same confidence in other prayer requests. Maybe I've started to subconsciously believe that He won't answer all my prayers, and the time has come when I don't get an answer. </p><p>I just got the hiccups again today. In all of these hiccups episodes already mentioned, I always had one unwritten rule. I had to wait until my hiccups got going before I prayed for them to go away. For some reason, I was holding back that full belief, that full trust. Without realizing it, I didn't think God could get rid of my hiccups until they got their rhythm going, until they officially became a case of the hiccups and not just a few lung spasms in a row. My radius of trust didn't extend to developing hiccups. </p><p>So this time, I finally asked God to take them away before they even officially started. I spoke aloud the word "Jesus" just to begin my prayer, and I already knew they were gone before I got another word out. I finished my prayer and then marveled at how the developing hiccups didn't continue; I didn't get another hiccup after I uttered the simple word "Jesus."</p><p> Maybe the pattern of disappearing hiccups is God showing me He wants to be invited into every small caveat of my life. Maybe it's about trusting Him completely. Maybe it's about finding those small areas in my life where I'm not truly trusting Him and surrendering those to Him too. </p><p>So here I am surrendering everything to Him. This time, I'll trust him completely. </p>Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-74969331250581358452020-08-26T12:16:00.000-07:002020-08-26T12:16:45.586-07:00Limbo<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">7.31.2020<o:p></o:p></span></p><p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">September 1st. That’s the answer we give when people ask when we’re leaving for our one-year mission to Granada, Spain. That’s the date we’ve been anticipating for months. It’s been our clear destination, deadline, end, and beginning.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">Now it’s all foggy.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">We’ve been diligent and proactive in getting our documents for our visa, starting around May and working from there. We were aware of Covid-19 and the issues it may pose for us, but we trucked on nonetheless, confident that although we saw lives being changed all around us by the pandemic, our plans weren’t going to change. September 1 was set in stone.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">Now here we are, on the cusp of August, and we don’t have a visa appointment, we don’t have all our documents, and we don’t have any security anymore. A visa takes 2-4 weeks to process, so even if we have an appointment tomorrow, we still may not make our September 1<sup>st</sup> goal. The hard truth of the matter is that August is seemingly full, and we may not be able to get a visa appointment at all this month. On top of that, the documents that we were so proactive in getting will expire soon, complicating this situation even more.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">All these circumstances are what bring us to limbo: the present situation where we really don’t know what’s next. I recently quit my job, anticipating a month or so preparing for Spain, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Micah and I are currently living in the ruins of our apartment, anticipating moving in with my parents for the last month that we were supposed to have before we move to Spain. So here am I: jobless, homeless, and unsure what the future holds.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">In the end, Covid-19 did hit us. We’ve been dodging it for so many months, pretty much untouched from its worldwide consequences, and now we’re finally in its clutches, just like everyone else on this planet.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">But that’s exactly it. We’re not alone. We have a whole community of missionaries that are hanging in this dang limbo just like us. My in laws who work for a missionary school in the Philippines are in limbo, unsure of what the school year holds for them. Multiple missionary acquaintances are in the exact same position we’re in: in the US waiting to go overseas. Other missionaries are in their countries, but completely unsure about how to proceed through covid-related issues.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">We’re all in this together, and that keeps me and Micah from being too self-focused and self pitying. This pandemic brought a unity that everyone can see if they look hard enough.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">Because <i>everyone </i>is in limbo, whether they see that or not. We’ve <i>always been </i>in limbo. We never know what’s next. We never have the security of knowing whether we’ll have a job, a home, or even a life the next day. That’s precisely what’s so beautiful about that season because it’s uncovering that truth for everyone. It’s exposing this mirage of control we all thought we had.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">God tiene el control. We are <i>nothing</i>, and our lives are not in our own hands. This is such an easy truth that I’ve “known” my whole life. Why is it so hard then?<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">Like so many other truths that the Bible clearly paints, we forget it hourly. What better time to remind myself hourly than in a pandemic, in limbo?<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">I know that whenever God wants us to be in Spain, that’s when we’ll be there. We already have the funds, the apartment, and the registration of classes. Our lives are ready for us there. We just need to get there, and that is completely dependent not on visa appointment availability, not on the logistics of documents, not on the mission, donors, or the consulate, but completely, 100% on God.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">This is just the truth that I need to remind myself every minute.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><b>Edit: </b>The exact same day I wrote this, the consulate posted on their websites that they are now accepting visa applications <i>via mail. </i>This means we don’t need an appointment, and we may still be on track to go to Spain in September! Praise God for his surprising, creative goodness and provision.<o:p></o:p></p>Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-18248603450666587022020-08-26T12:06:00.001-07:002020-08-26T12:06:25.513-07:00Granada<p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">“I think it’s Granada.”<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">I did everything in my power not to show the joy exploding within me. I did everything in my power not to collapse on the sidewalk right there in shock and elation at what Micah had just said.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">Instead I casually dug further and tried to hear more of Micah’s thoughts. He looked over, and he caught an evident smile on my face.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">I had been convinced for weeks that it was Granada. I never mentioned this to Micah because I didn’t want to sway him. Micah was having a hard time making this decision, and I didn’t want to admit how confident I was in one of our options. If there was one thing I had learned in this process, it was patience. It was September 2019, and I had first brought up missions to Micah in February.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">There were many reasons I wanted to leave the country and state to do missions in February, and those reasons and the stirring in my heart convinced me that we had to go as soon as possible. I didn’t realize how much Micah would halt my frenzied pursuit of missions.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">He was hesitant. So hesitant. As a missionary kid, he had always had a heart for missions, and his goal was to return to the mission field. But that goal was always far off for him, so when I mentioned I wanted to go in a year or less, Micah was hiding his panic.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">Along the journey, I admittedly got angry at God. When Micah was showing no signs of progress and no desire to move forward towards missions, I cried angry tears and questioned why on earth God would do this to us. Why on earth would God put this on my heart and not on my husband’s? Why on earth would he allow me to study Spanish for years and not allow me to use it? Why on earth would God have so clearly brought me and Micah together if we had different ambitions, paths, and timelines?<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">But God taught me patience, and I waited for Micah. I was putting too much pressure on him, so when we finally got to the point where we were in between two countries, I needed him to figure out where we were going. I couldn’t push him anymore. I couldn’t guide him towards any more decisions. I had to step back and let him lead this time.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">At the same time, I knew it was Granada. Every day when I prayed and thought about it, I felt like God kept confirming it was Granada. I kept this a secret and instead just prayed and prayed for Micah. I prayed that God would provide revelation after revelation for Micah to know where we were supposed to go.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">And here we were! We were walking down Como Avenue in Minnesota, and Micah was explaining why he felt it was Granada.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">“Every time I pray, Granada just keeps coming to my heart,” he said.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">“How do you feel about that?” I pushed for his honesty.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">“Good! Excited,” he assured me.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">My elation was clear. We continued to walk, hand-in-hand, and talk about the pros and opportunities of Granada.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p> </o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">For once, even if it was just this night, just this moment, we were on the same page. We agreed that we wanted to go to Granada. It wasn’t even the final, official decision. But it was agreement. And that, I thought to God, was His hands, His will, His doing.<o:p></o:p></p>Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-74185690655218973352016-01-21T16:16:00.000-08:002016-01-21T16:21:30.310-08:00the best kind of difficult<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The week and a half of returning to school has been difficult. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I feel like I've had transitions piled on transitions lately.</span> The last transition was hardest of them all, and that was something I was not expecting. Of course, I knew I was going to miss my Spain life when I returned to daily school life. Of course, I knew my walk to classes was going to be cold and snowy. What I didn’t perceive was to miss my old Northwestern life, and that hit me immediately when I moved in. I’m in a different dorm and farther away from my normal college friends than with a usual semester. My commute to classes got worse, and my moments of routine fellowship decreased. I’m left missing literally everything and everyone. <o:p></o:p></div>
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When all the hugs and the reunions are over, the truth glistens in the background: I’m out of place here. When returning from a semester abroad, you’re a stranger in the familiarity that seems different somehow, with friends trying to adapt you into the life they lived so long without you. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s exhausting. It’s depleting. It’s depressing. It’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">difficult.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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But it’s the best kind of difficult I’ve ever experienced.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Yes, I miss Spain. Yes, I miss the life I lived the first two years of college. Even knowing this, I would not have wanted this semester any other way because I’m different, and a different lifestyle is the perfect complement to that. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I’ve learned to receive my value from the source itself instead of from others. I’ve learned of the peace and confidence in Christ. I’ve experienced a joy that does not come from direct circumstances. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Sometimes when I think about Spain, tears will fill my eyes, but it’s not always because I miss it; it’s simply because I have joy in the fact that it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">happened. </i>Even though sometimes I wonder otherwise, that semester definitely occurred, and it left a positive impact on me that allows me to experience the oxymoron of an easy difficulty with God at my side. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">has </i>been difficult.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But it’s been the best kind of difficult I could imagine. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-6190220641368815842015-12-18T12:08:00.000-08:002015-12-18T12:24:18.007-08:00The conclusion of an incredible semester<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
My heart hurts. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Facts: I have lived in a foreign country for the last 3 and a half months. I have built friendships with individuals from all over America. I have shared meals with a Spanish couple almost every single day for the semester. I had to leave all of that yesterday. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The result?<o:p></o:p></div>
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My heart hurts.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I was uneasy when I finally reached Chicago after a 10-hour flight yesterday. After hearing the soothing Spanish language being spoken around me for months, hearing so much English literally made me feel on edge. Spanish is beautiful and so easy to tune out, but English is blaring, and petty conversations spoken by strangers were inevitable to overhear. I found myself getting upset at the high water level in the toilet and everything else American I noticed. I was in a state of discomfort in that airport, and I think it all stemmed from the goodbyes that so quickly became a reality. I was alone in America, away from the country and people that were my life for so long. My heart was panging with pain. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Since Chicago, I have arrived to my house and began the transition to the changes in time, weather, surroundings, and language. I’ve adjusted pretty well so far, (but dang it’s cold) and I’m overall pretty positive and hopeful about these next three weeks and my next semester. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In the midst of all of this, I have been considering what “home” really means to me, and thinking back to when I felt God speak to me this semester. Over these past couple months, I have comfortably built my haven in a small apartment in Sevilla, a hostel with 7 strangers, an apartment with strangers, a plane ride, a room in sketchy Naples, and in hotels. I slept in all these places. I dwelled in these places for a time. I found peace, comfort, happiness, and security in all of these places: so much so, that it’s this painful to leave those experiences. Now, I’m back at my parents’ house, but I’m not even staying here for long before I move back to college. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I shared a lot of sappiness in my last blog, and I am very much feeling lots of gratefulness and amazement for the semester that just ended. I’m reflecting on what the Lord has taught and shown me, and with that, I just want to pose a question:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <!--EndFragment--><br />
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I’ve arrived at my house, but am I home? <o:p></o:p><br />
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Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-13471386109243869482015-12-09T15:15:00.001-08:002016-01-06T22:12:58.590-08:00Confused emotions; wild thoughts<div class="MsoNormal">
The goodbyes are getting serious now. I have a week left in Sevilla, Spain: 7 days, 21 meals, and 5 days of school. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’m struggling to write about this because I simply don’t know how I feel, and I really don’t know how to express it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I want to say that my emotions are a perfectly balanced equation of bittersweet, but that doesn’t adequately describe it. There’s more of a profound weight to it. Can all my experiences and moments here fit into a simple description or equation of how I feel about leaving? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Physical transitions have always been hard for me. Even when I’m at college preparing to go home for a break or at home preparing to go back to college, I cringe at the thought of moving my physical body from one location to the next: from one way of life to another. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Moving from Spain back to America is an immensely exaggerated version of this, and I don’t know how I’m going to handle it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It’s not that I’m not excited; transitions come at the perfect time, and I’m always accepting and willing to make the move. I am so excited to return home, but I’m so rooted in this lifestyle, and I hate the thought of ripping out all of my roots in one morning when I have to hop on a plane. The summary: I don’t want to leave, but I do. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This has been the best experience of my life. As a way to start organizing my wild thoughts, I want to start reflecting on three takeaways from this incredible semester. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I love culture</i>. I knew this before I came to Spain, but this semester has just emphasized this passion so much. I would much rather skip the elaborate tourist sites of a city and instead just walk down the streets, observing the lifestyle. I prefer going deeper in a city than seeing the highlights. I want to try new foods, take in the ambiance, and get to know people. There is something so beautiful about being able to talk to someone in another language and be focused on the actual conversation instead of the words or grammar. For the first time in my life, I have <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">truly</i> gotten to know individuals and personalities in another language, which is such a cool concept. I just adore witnessing culture upfront and personal. This past weekend was a holiday weekend in Spain, and my host parents brought me to one of their family member’s apartments for a meal. That time was so wonderful. The conversation was moving a little too fast for me to jump in, but I loved just <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">being </i>there in a normal scene with a group of Spainards on a holiday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish I could sit at a family table in every country on this planet to simply experience. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God is my home</i>. This has been a reoccurring theme this semester since my moment of homesickness and physical sickness in October. I was basically alone in a foreign country these 3 and a half months, and life was blissful. God is all I needed this semester, and He is always all I need. In my life in Minnesota, I look for perfection, for comfort, and for “home” in others and get frustrated when I don’t receive it. Recently, the place I have been looking for my perfection and comfort is God, and I will never be disappointed with that strategy. Wherever I am in the world, I can rejoice in the sufficiency of Christ and know that He is all I need. I don’t need comfort or close friends or even my family; all I need to build my home is God, and He never leaves my side. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-29394585419750248952015-11-28T12:08:00.004-08:002016-02-11T16:42:28.888-08:00My Thanksgiving week in Spain <div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
At any regular season in my life, the week of Thanksgiving would start with two boring but busy days of school then transition into a time of relaxation at home with my family. My Thanksgiving week in Spain did not follow that structure. In fact, the whole week was kind of a whirlwind but a big, sensational, beautiful whirlwind at that. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sunday- Iglesia de Coria invited us students to a “farewell” service, the compliment to the “welcome” event we had in September. I’m going to be honest: I am a person that has struggled with major anxiety in relation to being in front of an audience. I kid you not, in this particular church event, I sang in front of everyone, played guitar in front of everyone, spoke in front of everyone, and danced in front of everyone. The feeling of imminent anxiety never touched me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because of my severe anxiety in the past, it was a victory and such a positive experience. That church is also such an encouragement to me because of its community and its zestful heart for the Lord. I’m so glad a church like that exists in Spain.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Monday- This was the day of our Flamenco show! After school, the majority of the Flamenco girls grabbed some food and had a little picnic on the roof of our school. After we ate, we proceeded with the daily Spanish schedule and took a siesta in the hot sun. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">On the roof</i>. It was so fantastic. I wish taking a nap on the roof in Spain would be a regular occurrence in my life. After that, we rehearsed, did makeup, and put our dresses on. Our instructor, Silvia, said a prayer for us before show time, and we went out and performed the Sevillanas dance for a small audience. The rhythmic claps, the flashes of colorful dresses, the shouts of ‘olay!’ and the laughs will always be engrained in my memory. What a beautiful dance and what a beautiful culture. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tuesday- I volunteered at the Hospital de Caridad for the last time, a nursing home for elderly men. When I was leaving, I made sure to say “adios; que tenga un buen día” to every elderly man I saw and took note of their smiles and waves to store in my memory forever. Tears were definitely dwelling in my eyes when I exited the building.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Wednesday- After school, I went to rehearse with the worship team for encuentro. Before we started the night of worship and small group, we played Pictionary as a group. As it was the night before Thanksgiving, it felt like such a comfort to be competitively yelling, screaming, and laughing in a game with a group of wonderful people. I think these crazy people deserve the title of my Spain fam. After the game, we had our small group time and worshipped with hymns. Lifting voices together to praise the Lord is such a joy, and I couldn’t have asked for more that night. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Thursday- It was my first Thanksgiving away from my family. I slept in and walked to school where we enjoyed a wonderful American breakfast, complete with eggs, bacon, pancakes, poptarts, bagels, and freshly squeezed orange juice. It was heaven. After breakfast, we all snuggled up in a classroom and watched a movie. I went back to have lunch with my wonderful Spanish parents and then facetimed my American parents for a bit. I got some chill time alone and then I met up with my friends to go to our Thanksgiving dinner at 9 pm. Our program in Spain was nice enough to provide us Americans with a Thanksgiving dinner, and it was an elegant, incredible evening. Our table was like a mile long, and we passed around plates of the classic food in a messy and unorganized manner, just like at home. The food was so stellar. The company was even better. We ate, we laughed, we played games, we exchanged gifts, we took pictures, and we just simply enjoyed. I wasn’t with my family, but spending hours at the dinner table with my Spain family is a Thanksgiving memory that I will never forget. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Friday- At noon, I took a bus with my friend Rachael to Itálica, a location near Sevilla with ruins of an ancient Roman city. It was a gorgeous spot, and my heart was filled again with the tranquility of nature. We roamed around, had a picnic lunch, talked, and then met up with another group of our friends. It was a pristine refreshing day. After I returned to Sevilla, I jumped on another bus heading to Iglesia de Coria. The church was having a worship night, and a couple of my friends and I wanted to go. The worship was spectacular, and the time of lifting my hands, praising, and surrendering to Jesus was something I needed. That night was a great treasure. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Saturday- today! So far, I’ve rested and reflected, a necessity after a beautiful week like that. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Besitos! Only two more full weeks left in Sevilla! <o:p></o:p></div>
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Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-15959234663657231562015-11-21T12:38:00.000-08:002015-12-15T05:18:20.166-08:00Despedidas prematuras <div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Despedidas prematuras: premature goodbyes<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I still have 3 three full weeks left in Sevilla, so this is a bit early for this list, but making it helped get my mind into a state of appreciation and transition. It allowed me to walk down the street and really drink in this city that has been my life for the last 3 months. Thinking about the things that I will not miss also gave me positivity to return home in a couple weeks. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Sevilla is a beautiful, magical piece of Europe, and I will miss so many details about it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I will miss the pigeons and horses that populate the streets<o:p></o:p></div>
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I will NOT miss the rats that appear during deep conversations by the river at night<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will miss the accordion players and other street performers<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will NOT miss that stupid floating devil on the street<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will miss not wearing a coat<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will NOT miss sweating through my clothes in the middle of November<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will miss the sound and smell of chestnuts roasting every few feet on the street<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will NOT miss rolling my ankles on the cobblestone streets<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will miss not having to tip at restaurants<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will NOT miss trying to flag the waiter down for 20 minutes in order to get our check<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will miss the brightly colored buildings and the palm trees scraping the horizon<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will NOT miss the mob of tourists every weekend<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will miss croquetas, chanquetes, and churros<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will NOT miss the Spanish tortilla. I just can’t anymore<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will miss the smiles of the elderly that I work with<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will NOT miss 93-year old Manuel asking me to marry him every Monday<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will miss biking around Sevilla<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will NOT miss ripping my Sevici out of its slot<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will miss waking up in the morning, lying in bed and reading texts, instagram posts, and facebook updates that happened overnight<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will NOT miss talking to my family and friends with the 7-hour difference struggle<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will miss all the students and teachers at school<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will NOT miss having the same 4 classes. every. single. day. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will miss the life of the night with the bright restaurants, shops, cathedrals, castles, and fountains<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will NOT miss inhaling cigarette smoke every 2 minutes on the street<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I will miss dinners with my host parents<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And that random California chick that was put in the same room as me<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And worshipping with my encuentro group<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And the wind of the river in the morning crossing the bridge<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And the Spanish language being spoken in every corner<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And azulejos, ancient architecture, and worn down street signs<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And dancing flamenco<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And the unripe oranges lying on the street<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And the laughs that are shared, even when culture and language are not. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiueTRiWTHknTdpmvZ7-q4D6BpbuHEJKNViM2NgXJUrAfi_8OO6-rFijl-qATtwNM_Ho1nlyPfm5x2C7h9LfR6z2ckKQpUgaqmDiPGNf-slSpCFWeyp1UsHQn70JiLWB1cTpuym9-SruzCC/s1600/IMG_1340.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiueTRiWTHknTdpmvZ7-q4D6BpbuHEJKNViM2NgXJUrAfi_8OO6-rFijl-qATtwNM_Ho1nlyPfm5x2C7h9LfR6z2ckKQpUgaqmDiPGNf-slSpCFWeyp1UsHQn70JiLWB1cTpuym9-SruzCC/s320/IMG_1340.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Granada</td></tr>
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Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-73859778957032041592015-11-11T06:38:00.000-08:002016-02-11T16:52:05.940-08:00Traveling: for better or for worse part 2<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Just to give a brief recap, part 1 was about going to Toledo, Madrid, Barcelona, and Valencia where we visited stellar churches, missed our train, got stranded in Madrid, and I dry heaved on the streets of Barcelona. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Part 2 begins on a train headed to Naples, Italy. <o:p></o:p></div>
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My two friends and I decided to travel through Italy for our week break, and our first destination was Naples. The train was advertised as a 2 and a half hour ride. Right away, the train stopped for what seemed like a half an hour at a <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>routine station. Then it stopped again. And again. Then again in the middle of nowhere in the pitch darkness. Then again in the middle of a tunnel. 5 hours later, we were sitting on the same train, dehydrated, hungry, confused, and alternating between laugher and frustration at the situation. We eventually had to jump on a bus that the train company had chartered for us to take the rest of the way to Naples. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I think we arrived in Naples around 9, 4 hours later than planned. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Naples: the city where the prodigy of pizza was born. Also one of the top ten most dangerous cities in Europe with a strong influence of the mafia. We definitely weren’t aware of that second one until our taxi driver warned us with his minimal English vocabulary- “very bad.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Very bad indeed. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The next day we made our way to Pompeii, which was absolutely breathtaking. A tragic history definitely exists there, but it was the beauty of it all that captured my attention. There were a lot of classic autumn trees there, something my Minnesota soul needed since I’m usually surrounded by palm trees in Sevilla. The combination of the trees and the ruins of an ancient city in the foreground of a mountainous horizon caused my heart to burst with beauty and joy. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was dark when we got back to Naples after Pompeii, so we decided to take a taxi again to avoid any peril. Our taxi dropped us off at a location and told us our airb&b was right around the corner. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Um. It wasn’t.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He had actually dropped us off at a random location that was farther away from our place than we were initially. If it was a mistake or on purpose, we will never know.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My friend Hannah had 27% battery on her phone, and since my phone and Katrina’s couldn’t do directions, her phone was our only hope. We hustled through the streets, followed the directions on Hannah’s phone, and tried to mask our fear of being stranded in the ghetto alone at night. We successfully made it to the address after about 20 minutes, and Hannah’s phone hadn’t even drained a percentage. Praise the Lord. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>However, as we stood relieved at our sketchy gate, we encountered our next problem: our key was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> working, and we couldn’t get in. That’s when my heart started to pound for real because what were our options at that point? <o:p></o:p></div>
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Our options were to ring every bell in the building until someone let us in. It worked. Praise the Lord. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Besides a 60-euro fee in one of our train rides, the rest of the week went smoothly. Our crazy, adrenaline-inducing adventures ended when we let Naples and headed to Florence the next day. Contrast to Naples, Florence was warm, clean, safe, and overall so lovely. In Florence, we were able to see a lot of famous art and admire the beautiful city. We ate some authentic Italian food right by the duomo, and it was wonderful. We also went to an American restaurant one night because we couldn’t find anything else, and I finally satisfied my almost 2-month craving of nachos, which was also so wonderful. It’s definitely okay to be an American once and a while when you’re abroad; that’s one thing I’ve learned and accepted here. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Rome was the last stop of our week’s journey. We saw the Colosseum, the Vatican, and the Trevi Fountain. The Trevi Fountain had apparently been under construction for years, and it had just reopened the week we were there. The construction must have paid off because it was a marvel, and we sat and stared at it for a long time. Of course, we also had to throw coins over our shoulder and make wishes. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Through the week, I felt I was able to taste a piece of the culture that is Italy. We were able to immerse ourselves in each city for at least 2 days, and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. There is a beauty in historic tourist attractions and notable art, but I discovered what really makes my heart spring to life is simply walking through the streets and seeing life being lived in a way that is uniquely theirs. I got such a thrill from observing and experiencing in these Italian cities; even in Naples, a smile could be found on my face as we were wondering through the city (during the day). I got the same gusto from seeing nature and awe-inspiring views. Both the ancient city of Pompeii and the view of Florence from the autumn tree-lined streets above took my breath away, and I was left wanting more. I think I will continue to seek after cultural and geographical beauty for the rest of my life. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The solitude of spending time in these cities also provoked me to think and reflect. It was really a perfect opportunity to step back from my normal life and stare back at it from a different perspective. I thought about how I’m going to be returning to Minnesota soon, and I envisioned myself fumbling with American money after being so accustomed to euros and habitually saying Spanish words instead of English. I pondered how I might even feel like a stranger in my own country for a bit when I returned. Then I thought about how indescribably incredible this experience has been and how many crazy adventures I’ve had. It has been a blur of blessings, exploration, growth, bliss, and insight. Sincerely, what a semester it’s been. <o:p></o:p></div>
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As I was thinking of these things and preparing to depart Italy for Spain, a realization hit me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Like. Wait. <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><br />
It’s not over yet.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-70908962504737417132015-10-26T14:54:00.001-07:002016-10-28T11:33:49.515-07:00like the rain<div class="MsoNormal">
Quick update: Last Saturday I participated in the A21 walk against prostitution. It was the first one in Sevilla, which was an honor to be a part of. Even though it was pouring rain most of the walk, it was undeniably powerful. My roommate was also traveling for that weekend, so I got a lot of introvertive, reflective time inside away from the rain. Netflix also came to Spain this week, which could definitely be a means of hindering my experience here… we’ll see how that goes. Volunteering happened this week. Flamenco happened. Great conversations happened. Exams happened. Laughs, picnics, shopping, and rowing happened. We also took a field trip to Ronda on Friday, which was breathtakingly gorgeous. And that’s all the updates I have. Another fleeting week in Spain came and went. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Now onto my jumbled, deep, crazy thoughts about my time in Spain. I’ve wanted to write a post like this for a while, but I just haven’t been able to spill it out on a document. The consistent pattering of the rain has been nagging me, and I’ve finally given in. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Ever since I arrived in Spain, I’ve been listening to one particular song almost every single day here and meditating on it. The song is <i>My Soul Longs for You </i>by Misty Edwards. It’s really struck a chord with me in my personal life and just looking around me at the life being lived in Spain.<o:p></o:p></div>
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There was a longing in my heart for this adventure months before it actually began. That longing derived from being worn down and wanting to escape my normal life to be solely with Jesus. I yearned to be on an adventure away from my comforts where the only tangible thing I could grab hold of would be God. I also wanted to get a piece of Spain, a piece of this culture and a piece of the beauty of this city. I wanted to try new things, see new things, and be challenged. I think this can all be tied together as a raw longing for the Lord: for His land, for His culture, for His beauty. He is in the midst of it all, and I know that my heart is ultimately seeking Him. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Some days, I’ve been able to address this longing in my soul and come before the Lord, just seeking His presence. Other days, I’ve just watched Netflix and screamed and covered my eyes whenever I saw a fall picture from home on Facebook. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I have most definitely reached the mid-semester slump recently, but eventually that just added more fuel to my longing: a longing for more time away, for more challenges, for more adventures, and for more God. In truth, I am even <i>more </i>excited for the next two months here because I reached that difficult point of missing home. My longing for God is stronger. My heart is blazing with hope and excitement for the rest of the semester. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I don’t think my heart is the only one that has this raw longing for God. <o:p></o:p></div>
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On the contrary, I think every single person on this planet has it, and I can see it so evidently all around me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>My soul longs for you; nothing else will do. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Walking home one day, I listened to these very words through my headphones as my gaze fell on a man that was smoking a cigarette, a commonality here in Spain. I turned my head and saw alcohol being advertised on billboards. <i>Nothing else will do.</i> All humans have a yearning for something higher, a fascination with seeking and experiencing. Often this longing is manifested in different ways like smoking, drinking, and experimenting with drugs and sex. But the truth still remains: nothing else will do. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>I believe you will come like the rain. </i><o:p></o:p></div>
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Seville is very dry, but lately it’s been raining a lot. This city frankly just isn’t built for the rain. Street gutters practically don’t exist, and most sidewalks turn into an ice-rink with the rain. It’s a city that was built expecting years of dryness. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Along with physically being dry, this place is also very spiritually dry. Evangelical churches aren’t common; in fact a lot of Spaniards find them weird and cultish. Less than 2% of this entire country is Protestant Christian. Many Spaniards profess to be Catholics, but truly are only by title. Spirit-filled churches do exist here, but I’ve been constantly surprised at how small they are. Seville is a dry city indeed.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Even through this, I can believe that the Lord will come like the rain. He will quench these dry streets. He will fill every longing. He <i>will </i>come like the rain. I can have this fervent hope in my heart, pray it over the people, and be encouraged every day as I walk through the streets. Maybe I won’t do anything spectacularly wonderful for the Lord while I’m here. Maybe there will still be years of spiritual dryness, but I can be confident that a change is coming. These Spaniards will know God, and they will exalt Him. He truly will come and will satisfy every soul that has been trying to seek His presence through mistaken ways. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>He will come<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>Like the rain<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>So let it rain. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-58089103803378855402015-10-16T12:09:00.000-07:002016-10-17T12:46:07.420-07:00Home<div class="MsoNormal">
This week, as I returned from my traveling and started recovering from my physical sickness, I got hit with a serious bout of homesickness. After multiple travels, I think it was only natural for me to be let down a little when I returned, and I was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">still </i>in a foreign country, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">still</i> technically traveling, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">still</i> miles from home. On top of that, I think when a body is sick, it craves to be surrounded by comforts at home. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But what is home?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Home is where the heart is. Home is safety and security. Home is love and comfort. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Is home Northwestern? Is home Eden Prairie, Minnesota? Is it Calle Betis in Sevilla, España? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Both church services that I attended this Sunday had very similar messages and themes. They both touched on the fact that church was “casa,” a safe place to be authentic and grow in the Lord. When River Valley mentioned it at the beginning of the service, I reflected briefly how both churches declared themselves homes and what a beautiful thing that was. It did indeed feel comforting to be in my home church even when I was across the world, but in that moment, it just didn’t meet the requirements to be “casa” for me. My poor sick soul was craving more comfort than the marble floor of River Valley Valencia. I wanted to wrap myself up with blankets and curl up on the warm carpet. I wanted there to be a crisp, cool wind outside. I wanted there to be orange leaves rustling softly in the trees and falling to the ground. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I wanted Minnesota. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Minnesota has constantly been flashing through my head this week. Apple orchards. Pumpkin patches. Colorful trees. No more dryness. No more cigarette smoke. No more elaborate old buildings. For the first time here in Spain, I frankly just wanted to return to my home state of Minnesota. The problem is I’m just so far, in the sense of distance and time before I return. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Homesickness finally took claim of me, and I finally acknowledged its existence. It was like this week I was crying out “Minnesota, I need you now! I need my home!” <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Then God spoke to me. It was an unswerving truth from the Lord that resounded in my soul:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m your home.”<o:p></o:p></div>
Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-78217021398033057352015-10-12T11:45:00.002-07:002015-10-13T10:14:35.406-07:00Traveling: for better and for worse<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In the last 9 days, I have been in 2 different countries, 7 different cities near and far around the Iberian Peninsula, 6 different beds, 2 buses, and 3 trains. I have been on the coast of the Atlantic Ocean or the "End of the World" and the coast of the Mediterranean. I've been to 4 cities in 4 days and literally had to remind myself where I was each morning when I woke up.</span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"I am in Toledo. I'm in a hotel room with two classmates."</span><br />
"I am in Madrid in an apartment with Kenzie's friends."<br />
"I am in Barcelona in a hostel with 7 complete strangers."<br />
"I'm in Valencia in the River Valley's pastor's house."</div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The traveling adventures started last weekend when I went to Portugal with a program called <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Outdoor Sevilla. </i>I mentioned before that I was craving time away from the city life, and Portugal was just the rejuvenation I needed. The little town we stayed at was on the coast, and it literally felt like we students had the whole town to ourselves. The landscape was absolutely breathtaking. I feel like beauty is so much more stunning when you’ve never seen anything like it before, and I had never seen anything like the Portugal cliffs framing the gigantic Atlantic Ocean. We were able to hike, rock climb, and surf in our time there, and I adored every moment of it. Sincerely, I think it was the best weekend of my life. Like, holy cow. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I had 3 short days back in Sevilla to quickly unpack and pack again before I left for another crazy weekend. Our school was taking an overnight excursion to Toledo on Thursday, and since we had Monday off due to a Spanish holiday, most students were traveling from Toledo to other locations. The planned agenda for my two friends and me was to leave from Toledo to Madrid where we would catch a train to Barcelona. In Barcelona, we would explore the city for the day, go to Hillsong Church the next morning, then immediately hop on a train to travel to Valencia to catch another church service. It was a weekend that I was looking forward to, but it was not the weekend I expected.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We successfully made it to Madrid, and before our next train left, we decided to meet up with Kenzie’s friend who lived right by the train station. As we were sitting in the café, I remember looking at the time compulsively, worrying that we were going to be late for our train. Little did I realize <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">how late</i> we actually were. It turns out instead of leaving at 6:30PM like we thought, the train had left at 6:30AM. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Oops. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We were basically screwed. Chaos ensued, but all of us kept pretty calm. We ended up staying at Kenzie’s friend’s apartment for the night, which was such a gigantic blessing because otherwise I think we might have been on the street. After much frantic searching, we found a bus for Barcelona that left the next morning and bought our tickets. As a result, we lost about 8 hours of time in Barcelona, not to mention a good amount of money on a train that left while we were peacefully sleeping in Toledo. Honestly, I felt a little responsible for the train catastrophe since I was the one that found the website we bought the tickets from, but justice was served: I was sick the entire rest of the weekend. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I don’t get sick often, but I have had some unpleasant experiences. I threw up on my desk in 2<sup>nd</sup> grade, and since then, I’ve had a fear of throwing up in public. That fear definitely didn’t manifest itself this weekend though because I dry heaved in a gas station and the streets of Barcelona without even thinking twice. I had to do what I had to do. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t miserable though; it was. In short, I was not a well human in Barcelona, but I enjoyed the beauty of the place nonetheless.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">That night, I stayed in a hostel alone. For some reason, the reservation for my original hostel wasn’t working, and by the time I got it to work, there was no space left. I was separated from Kenzie and Zoey, sick, and with 7 strangers in Barcelona. However, my experience was actually pretty enjoyable. I met some pretty cool girls from China and Brazil. I’ve always liked the idea of being the sole representative from America in a group; it just makes me feel culturally cool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">On Sunday, I checked out of my hostel, reunited with my girls, and then went to Hillsong Barcelona. We took our seats, and the moment the music started playing, tears started streaming down my cheeks. We were finally there. It was worth it. God was worth it. He always is. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Iglesia River Valley Valencia was next. River Valley has several campuses in the Twin Cities and just two international campuses. Over the summer, I just happened to get in contact with the Valencia pastor and his wife when they visited my church campus. Can I even express how much of a blessing that was? The pastor and his wife opened up their house to us and let us stay there for the night, which was glorious. At that point in the weekend, I was exhausted from traveling and sickness, and literally every movement of my limbs was like a marathon. Even through my severe fatigue, I still enjoyed worshipping with my home church in Spain, listening to the message, meeting new people, and staying in that lovely house for the evening.</span><br />
This morning, I somehow miraculously arrived safely back to Sevilla after the chaotic weekend, and currently I’m in my bed. I’ll definitely praise God for that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">And for everything else. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span> <br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">*pictures mixed up and in no order. kind of like my brain right now*</span></span></div>
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Toledo Cathedral</div>
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Hillsong Barcelona and River Valley Valencia</div>
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Toledo<br />
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Toledo</div>
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Sagrada Familia in Barcelona</div>
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Portugal<br />
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"End of the World" in Portugal</div>
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Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-91542540595533111662015-10-01T09:44:00.002-07:002015-10-01T11:54:59.141-07:00What I miss<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
For some reason, I thought that if I made a post like this, it would mean I’m homesick and complaining about my time here. I associated missing things from home with being miserable and hating life, which is most definitely not the case. To miss something means to notice the absence of something valuable. It has been such a blessing to take a step out of my regular life and be able to deeply appreciate all the beauties that fill my life in America. So with that, here is my brief list, in no particular order, of what I miss from home: both the shallow and the deep. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Peanut butter. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Jep the Jeep. Walking to class is so wonderful, but I just miss cruising around in my car with the windows down and the music cranked up. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Nature. The ancient city of Sevilla is so beautiful, but this introvert is craving time away from the crowded streets of tourists. I’ve been having this desire that keeps flashing in my mind of taking a walk around Lake Johanna at Northwestern. Too bad it’s 4,000 miles away. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->A grilled chicken sandwich with provolone cheese, ketchup, and fries from the eagle’s nest.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Minnesota fall! Honestly I think this is the number one thing that I miss. I want to experience that crisp, cool weather and the trees changing color. And let’s be honest, I just wanna wear a scarf and a sweatshirt without sweating profusely and breaking out in a heat rash. I’m not really loving the 90-degree weather in October. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->My dogs. I’ve literally been having reoccurring dreams of them, and I don’t know why. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->People. You know who you are. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->River Valley Church! I miss worshipping the Lord in English with a church that is just as freakishly crazy and passionate about Jesus as I am. Fair enough? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
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Still having the best time of my life though! Besitos from Spain! <o:p></o:p></div>
Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874241625134863558.post-3969183297811603692015-09-23T12:27:00.001-07:002015-09-23T12:27:49.947-07:00Life and God<div class="MsoNormal">
Things are transitioning from the pristine perfect vacation
to the everyday life. While the wonder and love that I have for Spain will
probably never wear off, the “honeymoon stage” definitely has. <o:p></o:p></div>
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There have been many recent days
where I’ve woken up and immediately thought “I don’t wanna go to school.” I’ve
been procrastinating on my homework through the means of facebook. I don’t always
want to talk at dinner. The street performers just don’t entertain me anymore
like they did at the beginning. I still silently rebuke that stupid floating
devil every time I pass by, but I don’t even look twice at the headless
musicians, the bodyless heads on the table, the flamenco dancer, and the golden
statue man. The excitement has waned a little, and the vacation is over. The
normal life of petty frustrations, routine, and fatigue has begun.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But I’m still having the best time
of my life.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Last Friday, I had the opportunity
to explore Córdoba, a city near Sevilla that is packed with art, history, and
beauty. The main attraction of Córdoba is the half mosque half cathedral that
is absolutely breathtaking. Literally I think my mouth was open the whole time
we were in there. We also got to see the beautiful Roman bridge over the river,
and my friends and I explored Alcazar: a castle and gardens. When I experience
a day like Córdoba, I remember exactly where I am in the world and how blessed
I am to have this semester abroad. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Along with Córdoba, one of the
highlights of last week was Saturday night by the river. I sat with three other
girls and we prayed and had honest, authentic conversation about faith as we
were surrounded by the beautiful lights of the city and even the fireworks that
were exploding in the sky. It was one of those nights that just got me so amped
about what the Lord is going to do this semester. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Because seriously, it already blows
my mind what the Lord has revealed to me in these three short weeks. <o:p></o:p></div>
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God is present in this land. He
always has been. He is also wildly present in my home of Minnesota. There is no
way to extinguish the presence of God; even in the Córdoba mosque and seemingly
dark places on this earth, God’s presence sings its testimony. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
There is no place to run from God
on earth, only to keep running to Him. Wherever I go on this planet, I will
have petty frustrations and normal human fatigue, but all I ever want to do is
keep running to His omniscient presence.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Hannah Varberghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07246035701586143144noreply@blogger.com1